by JOSH OLSON
I grew up in the church hearing about the depths of God’s love and, sure, I understood it, all the while falling so deeply into sin. Every time I would fall I would say “Well this time I’m gonna pick myself up by my bootstraps, I’m gonna take up my cross and move past this sin,” yet it came back with a vengeance and left me even more broken. Every time I would repent and then come with a new desire to pick up my cross again. I had it so wrong.
Brokenness is such a strong word; it’s a scary word but it is the thing that most identifies us with Jesus. Jesus said in Luke 9 that “if anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” He said this as he himself was about to do that same thing, fully knowing the brokenness that came with it. I always thought that taking up my cross was carrying the weight of my own sin. In actuality it’s about lifting high the banner of Christ and through that, allowing him to shoulder the weight of my sin. He can heal my brokenness because he himself has been broken and yet restored. Carrying my cross daily is my identification with the God of the broken and a reminder that I am not strong enough to unbreak myself; I am not strong enough to pull myself out of sin, but Jesus is enough.